Those Beloved Jeffersonian Meals!
I've always enjoyed Jeffersonian dinners, those purposeful gatherings that Thomas Jefferson used to host in his home. A good dinner of that nature brings diverse people together around a topic, with good food and drink, an introductory round, and triggering questions.
Over the years, I have held dozens, perhaps hundreds, of such dinners at my place, where I convene people close friends, colleagues, students, alumni, and people I have just met.
I will comment below on memorable encounters and what I have learned from them.
The Atomic Peach Film Club
This extinct film club happened in my living room for several years. My closest friends used to come by to watch movies (obviously), and each member proposed a thematic cycle. We watched every film, allowing comments during the projection and eating tons of junk food. Thanks to this club, my encyclopedic capital expanded, and I saw movies I otherwise wouldn't have noticed.
Diplomatic meals
For several years, I worked in Chilean diplomacy; my boss was a Counselor at the Ministry of Agriculture. He attended all kinds of business lunches as part of his day-to-day work. Still, occasionally, he would organize more private meals in the office, which was located in a beautiful house with a garden. He would invite potential allies and sometimes his crew to eat and drink wine together. Over time, I understood the strategic value of these gatherings and took them as a life lesson.
Good Living Classes
For several years, I have been meeting periodically with Grandpa and Panda, two dear friends with whom I went to college. In these dinners, we share food devotedly prepared by Panda and excellent mezcals brought by Grandpa. We also listen to music, watch videos, and suggest movies and TV shows to each other. I call this experience "the music class," but this is a class about good living. Every time I learn something, my point of view is confronted; I laugh like crazy, drink delicious spirits, and dine on glorious food.
Dining With Colleagues
When I have the chance, I dine with colleagues. There are many memorable people that I will not name to preserve privacy and because I would surely forget someone. I never regretted sharing food and drink with people I admire and guests I did not know at that moment of joint; thanks to all the people who have accepted the invitation!
Gatherings with Students and Alumni
On more than one occasion, my students and alumni have come to my home to have a workshop, a thesis seminar, or socialize informally. The informal get-togethers are my favorite; we have organized taquizas, barbecues, pizza nights, and many other meals.
Getting to know each other more personally has been a joy and an opportunity to learn. History has shown us that coming together to share stories is mighty and can change a community's destiny, even a country or a region. Gathering around food and stories still has the flavor of the primordial campfire that reinforces our tribal sense of belonging to a clan.
Gathering around causes, chatting, and confabulating changes us internally, opens us up, and helps us learn; that is why I have the following recommendations I will share with you.
- Resolve to meet with exciting people several times a year and meet at a house (yours or someone else's) to make participants feel safe.
- Ensure the meeting includes good food, drinks, and an atmosphere conducive to conversation, with quiet music in the background. Parties are fun, but we want to achieve a purposeful gathering woven around conversation.
- Ensure the meeting has a take-away: what do you expect people to take home due to the meeting? It could be new knowledge, a recommendation, or an experience.
- Invite people you agree with, but also people who will force you to question your point of view, pushers who are not afraid to confront. Don’t mistake pushers (enthusiasts of truth) with bullies (enthusiasts of violence): a bully can turn the evening into a rampage.
- Try, whenever appropriate, to agree on an action as a result of the meeting: seeing each other again in a few months, reading a book, watching a movie, going somewhere. Preferably, the agreement should contribute to one's or someone else's well-being: history has also taught us that we can agree to do awful shit!
- Never consider that devoting a few hours to a meeting like this wastes time, unlike the cumbersome business meetings many of us endure daily. Social capital fuels powerful forces of change, and this turbulent world requires, among other things, a robust support network. How will you know who your tribe is if you don’t spend some time getting to know people? It is about something else than doing business (which we don’t deny) but about strengthening ties.
